Monday, June 21, 2004

Some choice pictures from the zoo trip

My cat


The bitches


Picture perfect


My Cheeky brother


Beautiful specimen of God


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assumptions

i questioned myself, can a relationship be built and maintained by assumptions? assumption on a footwear, on an accessory, on a shirt. and that tells things or trait about someone? there is no such thing as pure coincidence?

was accused. yeah accused that i heavily emulated someone. i kept quiet for awhile before attempting to deliver point by point rebuttal. but i ended up keeping quiet.

part of a quote,
"...u do not need to explain urself to a friend, because they do not need it..."

especially so if that friend is someone who u consider as one of ur best friends.

maybe not.

i pride myself, wait, i think my best trait is to be able to really think before i speak. most of the time anyway. maybe i am too passive. just absorbing, listening, tolerating and keeping my own counsel. cos truly, sometimes it is just useless to make ur feelings known.

and sincerely, i have always done the listening.

but never the talking.

i listened, i engaged back with choice words which i think the person needs.

but never the talking because the person never really empathise with u in the first place.

so the status quo remains.

yet, it hurts when purely on assumptions, someone arrive to a conclusion about u. how stupid, superficial can that be? be true to myself. that's the only antidote cos explaining urself will just be repetitive. especially to someone who up to a certain point of time u regard as one of ur best friends.

and truly, friends dun need to hear confessions and admissions. they observe and empathise.

a quote i got from someone's blog,

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

Thursday, June 17, 2004

contemplative, ruminative, malaise

it was good news for many people last tuesday. it was announced in the parliament that NS liabilities will be reduced. existing NSFs will get up to 2 month reduction in their current liabilities. as for me, my ORD date will be brought forward to 23/12/04.

the feeling of jubilation was brief and spontaneous.

the feeling of being lost was overpowering.

i absolutely have no idea what to do after ORD.

what kind of career path to take.

and suddenly reality descended hard and fast upon me that i have no concrete gameplan.

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i just so much wanted to talk to somebody about it. in fact there are many things which i wanted to talk about but i stopped short.

touched briefly on it to the diva in the mrt yesterday. told him part of the reason for it too. he was quiet for awhile before he offered the same solution which i have all along arrived to.

what is the point of telling then?

and the main part is, i do not really like to tell others of my main worries. my eyes were warm when i told him part of the reason of my malaise. thank god for my cap and ability to quickly shunt to another topic.

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it was the bitch's birthday yesterday. and we went to the zoo.

a zoo outing for a 22 yr old birthday.

nice.

my brother was quite well-behaved. my real brother that is.

he took the whole morning to acclimatise and warm up to the gang before he terrorize them with his cheekiness after lunch at kfc.

fairuz was visibly shaken and traumatised.

the diva was cool with it. i think he has sorta adopted my brother. walking with him, holding his hand.

and as usual, jian the ex-resident bitch played along with any plot coming his way.

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dinner was at swensens.

we bought the ice-cream cake.

the boy treated dinner.

for all his shamelessness and flamboyance, he is a shy person.

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such pessimism.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

FCUKED UP

i lost an entry due to this stupid modem who has loose wires.

idiotic piece of machinery!

grrrrrrrrrrr!

Monday, June 14, 2004

pampered

been spending so much time with the bitch the past week.

was on a flirty mode as usual on friday with the usual phrases, "U like righhhhhht", "U want righhhhhht", "Dun push it!". so we decided to go out after i booked out. he booked out earlier due to a medical appointment, i later at 5.30pm. and he promised a surprise for me. interesting.

went to tianpo, a jewellery shop in suntec. as usual. meaning, its fast becoming a routine. and the bitch cooked up a rather complicated and convulated story about buying a ring for a mutual friend who is getting engaged. very stupid i must say, who would buy just a ring for the boy? anyway, i have to play along and maintain a straight face. cant usually do that while lying, so i just look down.

conclusion? tianpo is a much better shop. to me at least. lee hwa seem more ostentatious. but tianpo is more personalised with good service. and, a platinum ring is so much more nicer and 'practical'. its less flashy and comfy to wear. imaging wearing a diamond ring? so yeah, a platinum ring.

we then went to carrefour, bought some stuffs. 3 kueh for me from bengawan solo and a soursop juice. chicken rice and orange juice for the bitch. he absolutely insisted that i buy more food. naggy.

so we ate and as usual he cant finish his stuffs. the reason being, the juices from carrefour are absolutely filling. a bun and a bottle of juice actually suffice to be full.

before that, we went to the nikko shop to get his birthday gift. he was so sad that the car is still not available yet he put on a brave front to mask that sadness. poor baby.

and yeah, the surprise is a treat to chocolate buffet at fullerton. i actually suspected that is what he gonna surprise me but i didn push my luck. after he told me that, he profusely tried to warn and prepare me abt how small the servings were and how little the selections are.

so we made our way from suntec to fullerton. and we went past esplanade and cross that long bridge. and we made remarks how romantic it is. and he commented abt how long it has been since he last walked that stretch with the love of his life. for all his flamboyance, he is actually a devoted idiot.

so we went to fullerton, we got a seat, and we got ourselves some choc desserts. rich, ritzy, self-indulgent, sensuous, sumptuous, sybaritic, upscale. in short, its good food, good music, good company and good environment.

started with the espresso coffee cake. it virtually melt in ur mouth. the coffee plus chocolate texture ignites a mental orgasm; figuratively. the bitch was laughing his head off looking at my expression. the feast was quickly followed by fig white chocolate cake, fullerton belgium marquise, classic fullerton chocolate cake, choc mirabelle plum bread & butter pudding. the pudding is virtually oozing with egg-y delights. goodeliciously sinful!

i am fast becoming a publicity ambassador for fullerton!

the stately atmosphere with piano and cello music wafting thru the air, the attentive and kind service by the attendants, the relaxing lighting plus of course the bitchy company of the boy combined, makes for an experience worth dying for.

we joked and we bitched amidst the full, bloated feeling we had after gorging ourselves with the chocolates. and he said, "why dun we book a room here after lancer? i ask my aunty to book la". there isnt a need to write abt my reaction. of course, i am looking forward to that 'date'!

the bloated and sick feeling induced by the chocolates make me remarked about how i wish i had some lime to go with the hot tea. the bitch contented that lemon will be better. i begged to differ. and we squabble before finally going up for another round of chocolates. and he talked to the attendant while i wasnt near him. i came back to the table, and there is sliced lemon waiting for me. i adore that guy.

saturday was spent pampering my sister. i didn get her anything for her birthday, so that was sort of a belated making up. treated her to lunch and harry potter. originally, wasnt really planning to watch with her but since the tentative plan falls through, i ended up watching it with her instead.

as darker as the third potter movie is, i think its the worse. in fact i think the book is THE worst of all the 5 books. so the movie is kinda expected. anyhow, i enjoyed.

sunday was spent walking around orchard with the diva and the ex resident bitch. we bitched of course. what do u expect when the clan meets? and how the ex resident bitch has fallen from grace. in fact, even the diva is not in the loop on certain things. *grins*

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i am obviously not in the top points in her list of priorities.

no matter.

in fact i am surprised at myself that i didn wallow in self-pity or self misery.

the bitch helped alot. by just being there.

i remembered writing this,
".... someone do not really need friends to keep bugging and insisting to know what is the problem the person is facing. there are many ways to show the person that u care and are always around for him. simple stuffs and deeds by the friend can go a long mile in putting a smile on the person's face. all u need to do is just be there. and most importantly, be there when he is ready to pour his heart out. ....."

in any case, there is the zoo trip to look forward to.
another fullerton outing this weekend, =P
and lancer.

in any case, i've been spending too much time with the bitch. not that i am complaining. cos truly, good moments dun last.

i hope it does.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

a need

it is 5 days since i last updated my blog. hence the need to write something. this should be part1 of today's entry, if i decide to write more at night that is.

went to seoul garden last night. bloated. i fed myself to near full-capacity and my fave food for the night is those thinly sliced beef! heavenly. the bitch impart his food wisdom to us. put the sliced onions first, then u put the beef on top of the onions. i cant remember the exact rationale he gave, but it gave a nice flavour to the beef and i've always like onions anyway. another point, dip ur cooked food in raw egg, and u will have that creamy egg-y taste to it. nice! sinful!

apparently going to neighbourhood seoul garden is much better. there is always ample quantity of the different food. and the ice-cream is actually very nice albeit at the price of having a sucky tasting ice-kacang!

after the seoul garden, we went to jewellery shops! yeah. 4 guys to the jewellery shops. we tried out the rings, specifically diamond rings from the men's line. lee hwa, soo kee and taka. its blardy awkward to try it out! especially when the bitch keep telling the shop assistants that its for my birthday. imagine the embarrassment! of being mistaken as his partner that is. goodness!

my conclusion is, the rings arent nice. i was thinking of having the bracelet from lee hwa instead. its much cheaper from the diamond ring which he 'insisted' on getting for me!

the diva said its gayish and might end up as a white elephant. thats quite true. but let me indulge in my vanity once in a while yeah.

saw a nice singapore mint gold coin from one big gold jewellery shop. that a nice idea too. especially when its a forever friends gold coin. cost abt $268 i think. a splendid gift idea. maybe for a good friend though i have no idea who to buy it for.

in any case, yesterday was cool!

till later.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

contradiction

100mins. roughly the time i spent chatting with razif on the phone just now. as usual, its always a joy talking with him and i managed to point out some of his demons. i hope i did. and i dished out many stuffs which on hindsight applied to me as well. funny how saying is always easier than doing.

suspected that some family member of a colleague died only to find out just now that its actually his father who committed suicide.

sigh.

oh. many audacious things transpired.

a hugo boss suit on his wedding.

an ipod mini for him after my first pay.

a kiss.

goodness gracious.

its scary how all this can actually bring about so many misunderstandings. but its fun.

then again, a kiss?!

i seek refuge with God.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

never really intended to paste this here but i like the results so yeah...


Snowleopard
You'd turn into a Snowleopard! Like a snowleopard
you are quiet, shy and not seen much and find
it hard to talk to people, but dont really mind
being by yourself. However once you have gotten
over your shyness and are relaxed you are so
different it can be scary! You have a few close
friends who can grasp your strange ways. You
are generally laid back but when you get angry
you get angry and can be very vicious and a
force to be recond with, though few people ever
see this.


What animal would you turn into?
brought to you by Quizilla

i am feeling sick

feverish. either lack of water, or staying in an air-con room for so long.

discovered the word 'himbo'.

decided to try a pink shirt after all. a colour which i steadfastly view with disdain when i see so many guys wearing it.

got a shock of my life. no. not a shock. something more piercing. too lazy to surf dictionary.com. suddenly i feel that i don't know the person. and to think some people think that we are best friends.

lots of things to do. and i have not done any one of them.

sigh.