*tired*
and i miss him quite so much.. very much.. *sigh*

getting bored with the superficiality of human nature, relationships..

got irritated by people many times this past few days.. being the forgiving person i am, just shrugged it off.. most importantly, i remembered these verses.. so there..

003.133 And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil);
003.134 Those who spend (of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good;
003.135 And those who, when they do an evil thing or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins - Who forgiveth sins save Allah only ? - and will not knowingly repeat (the wrong) they did.

extremely bored in the med ctr.. she sms-ed me.. told me a guy is going to ask for her hand.. cool right? and i am again playing the aunt aggie.. if things go well, this should be the 2nd time i am caught in this situation.. well, what do u expect me to do? be the good guy that i am i guess..

i think i am a failure.. partly, that is why i get the cat i think.. to have something or some device to alleviate this farked up feeling of loneliness.. after all, a cat is a man's best companion arent they not?

i strive in helping others.. when someone just opens up to me, voila! i will just have the perfect response or plan to spurt out.. amazing right? yeah.. i also realise that its my emotional mechanism which gives me an outlet to 'hide' when i have my own devils confront me.. so in my eagerness to help the person, my devil is being locked up only to break free another day.. and the evil cycle just continues...

i kinda miss that best friend of mine.. till this day i do not know what is the story morning glory though i have a fair idea of what is going on.. miss her.. but like what he said, to forget abt her is the best option.. it hurts but yeah its the best...

*sigh*
i need a beach.. u know, to just sit, laze around.. wrap myself with the sea breeze.. and wallow in self pity?.. haven been doing that for years.. and its quite pathetic to go alone.. maybe i will just do that..

alternatively, i can go to my granny's house.. sit on d sofa, tuned in to RadioIKIM.. and just chat with my granny.. she will regale the stories of years past.. and i will just listen and bask in d love she exudes.. miss her also..

felt like crying.. one of those times when i feel blue.. listening to some songs which i wont pay attention to.. and tears will just form.. lucky for me, my eyes always turn red at abt 9-10pm.. and no one will suspect that i am holding back tears.. :)

the bitch asked me, "are u what u are or are u showing people what u want them to see?" meaning, am i being my honest self in inter-personal behaviour, or am i putting on a facade?.. something which i want people to think of me as..

i answered, half-half.. i try to be honest and sincere in my dealings.. in that aspect, u get me as what i am.. if i do things for u.. its nothing but kindness from d soul u know.. then again, i hide things.. i dun see any benefit in telling anybody abt everything which happens in my life.. where is the need? will they be able to help? yeah.. by providing a listening and sympathetic ear.. my friend chandra used to tell me during one of those sombre chit chats, "u listening to me is good enough" .. i dun agree though.. let me be the giver.. but not the taker..

american idol.. till the time i find sth interesting to write..

skimming on other ppl's blog.. came across this.. couldn't have summed it better..

Stereotypes
You know...I have learned a very important lesson in life. Never to be jugdemental towards a person.

No matter how crappy a person can be, no matter how uncaring the person may sound and no matter how unaffected a person may be to your comments, never! I must reiterate never be jugdemental towards a person!

If you are saying that your comment or remark is based on how long you know a person, well think again. You didn't carry that person in your womb for 9 months so don't claim that you know every germ detail about that person.

To those people already stereotyped by others, patience goes a long way. To those stereotypes as well as those unaware they are one, stop labelling people! Its despicable to do so.

May Allah guide us all towards the correct path. Insya Allah...

another one of those times when melancholy sets in..

booked in rather early today.. set off fr my house at around 6.45pm.. saw all those recruits at jurong east mrt on their way back to the resort island of tekong.. hehe.. cant help to reminisce on my chao recruits days.. fun, sadness, gloom, expectation, trepidation etc etc etc are among d feelings and emotions i always felt during those times.. saw an indian recruit, wearing earrings on both ears.. the audacity of that bugger! was really tempted to act like a provost and scare him or sth.. then again, none of my business yar..

skimmed thru the past few entries.. lots of bitching yar? most importantly, i have the feeling the way i am blogging rite now is not the way i want it to be.. i got the feeling too that i am adopting a commercial writer's mentality.. blogging to please the readers whoever they are.. *bleargh* so yeah, will be blogging as and when i like.. as and how i want.. as and how long i intend it to be.. its mine!

went out to with a colleague and razif yesterday.. was telling myself on friday, if razif say nothing abt saturday's outing, i will just slack at home.. dun wanna be seen to be always the one asking people out u know.. anyway, he asked me during the games to go out.. so yeah, plans were made..

met him at coffee bean at forum shopping centre.. up to now, i have no preference nor have i any inkling what is the difference between starbucks and coffee bean.. anyway, he was with his relative.. and the relative was with her bf.. i dunno for sure whether its just a relative or his cousin.. and he has this cute habit of addressing his cousins/relatives as 'awak' and addressing himself as 'kita'.. hehe

sat down and fiddled with my sms/hp.. before i slowly joined them with the topic of the day.. NS stuffs of course.. hehe.. his relative's bf is one fit bugger man.. and he shared tips with us.. eg, how to do pull-ups effectively, shave off timings fr shuttle run etc.. intrigued! so gonna try those tips next week.. or at least train towards it.. gold ippt std by end of april!

after abt 40mins of chatting, they make a move, and we start to make plans on what exactly we wanna do.. catch a movie or just slack.. its always fun to slack with razif.. but we decided to catch a movie.. went to get the tix.. before eating dinner.. bought cone ice-cream fr McD prior to going to far east plaza.. after the demise of the cone, he insisted in getting some ice-cream for us, my colleague and i at a turkish restaurant in far east.. Anatolia.. heard abt it? nice i tell u.. and cheeky! dinner at burger king..

reached home at 3am...

sunday.. bathed vin.. cant delay anymore u know.. it turned out to be a 'low-key' event.. i mix the shampoo with warm water.. held vin with my left hand.. sponged him with my right hand while whispering sweet nothings to him and promising him that he will eat after the bath.. hehe he kept meowing away but didn attempt to bite me.. told u! he absolutely loves me... so sweeeeeeeet! after that, he smell so niceeee!

hmm nothing much to d day.. slacking and reading a love novel my sis borrowed fr the library.. *sigh*

ah.. i always wonder why humans derives enjoyment by making fun of others? well, i am guilty of it too but i dare say i am never an extremist in having fun.. hmm

idiots talking and imposing views on what age to get married, when to have a relationship.. the dos and donts of that age..

one word, idiots

*bleargh

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." --Mark Twain

nice righhttttt? cut and paste fr ruqie's blog.. hehe

"One may have a large circle of friends but no confidant.. a friendship takes time and effort to nurture.."

was slacking and watching tv at home and the actress was spouting those words.. a habit/hobby of mine.. when sth, a saying or a maxim or an idiom or quote, catches my interest, i will jot it down.. =p

few days back, my best friend from sec sch wrote me a testimonial in friendster.. about time that is.. his testimonial provided me with a chance to reminisce on the gone days.. how we always stick together.. play basketball together.. play catching during sec2!!! those 'intimate' chats in d wee hrs of morning when we walked from the bus stop to sch.. i still remember those times when i like to ask questions.. nonsensical but tough questions.. yeah ask alot of those type during guard duties too :) the bitch should know.. hehe

its sad that people grow up and move on.. then again, its Sunnatullah.. now i can proudly say, i was 16.. been there, done that.. have i been very neglectful? taking things for granted? like someone said, its there till its gone.. am terribly guilty all those.. tend to grow close to friends i just get to know at the expense of old friends.. *sigh* time to work on it..

went shopping for cat food yesterday.. shopping in singapore sucks.. a brand can have several 'series' to it u know.. eg, friskies in US may be marketing a series of new stuffs and the same company in Aust may be selling a different series.. singapore being singapore, why cant they sell a variety of it? stupid right.. anyway, after going to 4 different shops, i finally found the variety i was looking for.. bought like 7-8 different cans/packets of 'wet' food.. gave vin half a small can of tuna/squid/shrimp food.. he slurped it all up of course.. *sigh* he was like walking in between my legs.. rubbing his body against my legs.. so cute!!

beginning to discover more of his habits.. there are times when he just want to lie down and observe the surroundings and register it into his data bank.. there are times where he wants to be loved and stroked.. miss him already.. the cat u know..

the imam today was Ust alaina.. happy of course =p and he actually read surah arRahman!!! woohooooooooo.. she said, ust alaina is the alMatrood of singapore.. not many can read surah arRahman seductively u know.. but when the imam reads it, that kind of feeling just surge through my body u know.. khusyu` benar u!! *sigh*

nothing much today.. bitching and just slacking... have to bathe vin tmrw.. my first that is.. wish me luck..

he keeps bugging me to update my blog.. incessantly, indefatigably, actively and untiringly pestering and lecturing me on the meaning of blogging or rather, keeping a diary.. getting on my nerves i tell u.. then again, like i've stated somewhere, my blog serves as an avenue for him to alleviate the feeling of yearning for me (yucks*)

anyway, i really hate it when people gives advice but not willing to go all the way.. eg,
mum : dun climb on the dining table!
4 yr old son : why?
mum : i said dun climb! why u so stubborn?
son : why why i cannot climb?
mum : i said dun climb, means dun climb lah..

morale of the story? u either say it or u dun.. if u say it, be prepared to defend what u say or else, just shut ur gab..

sis sms-ed asking me how to bathe the cat.. apparently, vin being the active and lovable cat he is, refused to be still while she attempts to bathe him.. in a way, its good lah.. now he wont enter the toilet for fear of being bathed.. but i want him to be sweet smelling!.. will do more research i guess..

actually, got nothing to write lah today.. thanks to my fave bitch who always broke into a weird smile whenever he sees me, i am typing some nonsensical stuffs..

intend to go out with razif this weekend.. watch some show.. he is not interested in watching Love Actually.. :( cant psycho him cos i pestered him the last time we went out to watch Cold Mountain which is a farked up show.. intend to go lau pa sat and eat satay itik!.. yum yum.. or just stay at home and play with the sexy vin!

american idol later

the moment i stepped into d medical centre, i was being bitched at by 2 idiotic bitches.. one seasoned bitch, and 1 wannabe bitch.. badgering me abt what's d point of keeping an online diary.. *dsh*

anyway, because they are here bitching and talking animatedly about GAYS, i have to rethink again what i've formulated on the points that i wanted to write about en route to camp..

it seems, i have and can be taken to task regarding what i said on my blog.. was at the pet shop, sent her a msg about a handsome blue-eyed kitten which i am very interested in.. and she asked whether i was with the prettiest officer in camp (i think this is what she asked.. refer to my previous entry abt d chincilla episode)..

d 2nd resident bitch of the centre msg-ed me 1st today.. hehe that's quite rare..
him : "Rotting at home? Update your blog. What's the use of a diary when u keep procrastinating on writing it?.... "
No matter how he sees it, my blog brings him entertainment and provides him the light or spark to alleviate his feeling of missing me.. how cool is that!

anyway, this entry is actually about my kitten! yeah.. i got a kitten.. a blue-eyed 4mth old kitten of d ragdoll breed.. bought it last friday.. :)

have been finding out infos on the breeds of cats and their individual characteristics/temperament.. breeds like somalis, bengals, norwegian forest cat are very very exotic!.. go and look at their pictures.. they are either so cute or so majestic! i like!

(am con't typing amidst constant bitching by THE resident bitch and sounds from Perfect10)
anyway, after friday prayers, i went home and made a brief stopover at the Pets Station at jurong point.. saw this promotion package.. a 4mth-old male ragdoll + litter + a big stainless steel cage for just $188!.. isnt that so so cheap?? a ragdoll is usually 1/3 cheaper than a persian.. so go figure(the kitty came without vaccination papers though).. was very tempted to get it there and then.. but my mum called and virtually shouted via d phone warning me against getting ANY cat ;) so, that sets me thinking, how to get a cat if the dowager is against it? hehe the wily and stubborn me did the next best thing, a rebellion! i made sure that my youngest bro who was with me at that time really liked the cat before going home to bring the other siblings to view the kitty..

so i went home, and tell my sisters that we gonna go to the pet shop.. my mum objected vehemently.. she said, "nak tengok boleh.. kalau kau beli, jaga kau!" hehe.. and of course, if i want sth, there is no stopping me..

we trooped down to the shop.. and my sisters absolutely like it.. why? because when they came, the handsome kitty was perched on the litter gazing at us with his blue-eyes.. so the deal is done.. browsed around the shop for misc stuffs.. selected food, litter sand, comb, shampoo, carrier for the kitty..

when we got home, my mum was frowning and absolutely refused to speak to me :) set up the cage.. and put the kitty inside the cage... cant jolly well let him run around and anger the dowager can i? i think my mum would have grabbed a knife and kill me on the spot had i done that..

saturday,
the kitty woke me at 6.15am! meowing away.. put some friskies and that shut him up.. only managed to let him explore the rooms at noon for an hr before being back to d cage.. all awhile, thinking abt names for him.. somehow, i thought of 'vin'.. she mooted the name marsh, marshy which i think is cute but like girly like that.. 'cal' was also mooted.. but my sisters shot it down.. then came tomok, achik, boy.. hehe.. and latest my sister call him is 'sexy'.. tsk..

anyway, saturday was quite boring.. read my harry potter books before deciding to clean the toilets and kitchen.. yeah i was that bored! anyway, after that.. i let the kitty prowl the house for a short while.. he was SO SO energetic.. running around.. u ever watched how a cheetah hunts a gazelle? yeah.. its like that.. running from one end to the other.. sliding along the way.. sniffing at everything.. exploring behind everything.. tsk.. curious lads cats are..

msg-ed a fren abt his babysitting stint.. then we talked on the phone till abt 2.30am.. when my hp batt went flat that is.. its a wonder that when u talked with good frens, time is but a fleeting moment.. a 2hr chat can seem just a few mins.. tsk..

vin woke us all up at 6plus AGAIN! like first parade u know.. and this time round my mum was quite eager to let him out even though she absolutely refused for the cat to get near her.. *bleargh*.. so vin prowled around the house.. marking everywhere with his smell.. and also smelling everything.. he seems much happier.. gazing at everybody with his blue eyes.. :).. so cute u know.. by noon, he is exhausted and i put him back into d cage where he napped on his back with legs outstretched.. on his back ok.. not his side.. 3hr slp, and he is back out prowling again... :)

tired.. so this entry is abit disjointed.. wont bother editing for today.. maybe tomoro..
CO parade in the morning..

started the day with a bitching session via sms..

him : Hey, i need a medium 2 trash ting out.. I think blog could b a gd tool.. Teach me how to use on wkend when i hav access to e pc. T've almost been driven to crazy. Haa

me : Wahahaha. My fren whois THE diva wants 2 trash tings out? He is human after all eh? Ok will do..

him : I wan 2 pen down stuff .. Ugly ting 2 this world man! Show it 2 d innocents tat e society's treacherous n most imptly, diva bitchin. Look out for e launch of my blog

a normal day.. body aching.. ribs hurts.. the result of being too garang i guess.. to compensate, i've been gorging myself with food(combat ration biscuits) and caffeine(coffee and tea, all instant).. not good i admit, but where can i get stuffs like bananas, tuna, salmon, chicken breast, peanut butter etc etc etc? post breakfast meal, post lunch meal.. will gorge on a packet of m&m later on.. weighed 70kg yesterday.. safely within my healthy zone.. in fact hovering along the line of being thin and normal k.. bleargh.. why on earth am i writing abt my weight? sue me

went to play with d chincilla just now.. d prettiest and sweetest lady officer in our camp was with me too hehe.. d chincilla looked so depressed!.. poor lad.. but when we were in the room he started to run around and hide behind us.. so cute! well, that's to be expected right? any depressed creature will perk up if the prettiest and sweetest lady officer in the camp and a suave clark-kent look-alike are in the room!.. *COUGHS*

anyway, i think the MO room is akin to a wicked wizard's room on top of a medieval castle's tower.. currently, we have 2 MO (medical officer).. last wednesday the new MO decided that next week will be 2.4km training alternated with interval training without any route marches.. lo and behold.. somehow a strategy planning session to kill the medics have taken place and the new schedule looks like this,

mon : SOC
tues : 10km route march (no rest, more like fast march)
wed : 2.4km training
thurs : interval training
fri : 2.4km training
sat : battalion games day

the 10km route march is the killer.. after such a session u will need like at least a day for ur legs to recover.. ok la i am bitching.. those OCTs and SISPEC trainees are doing it too.. but different cases ok.. they ARE expected to.. we are not.. whoever expect medics to be fit anyway? its the battalion's good fortune to have us ok.. and i honestly think, besides the commandos medics who are cross-trained anyway, we are the next fittest bunch of medics.. bleargh..

my blog is bringing laughter to ppl it seems.. d sick chicken laughed at the camo netting entry.. and 'reminded' me that blogging is a daily affair.. what a bitch..

i think my essay writing skills are getting poorer by the day.. tsk

*yawns*
finished an outfield exercise.. basically it involves the medical aspects of the SAF.. many crabs were prowling around.. even one MP is d OC of one coy.. anyway the exercise went well..

during d 2 day outfield, there was a warrant officer staying at the training shed with us.. he is one of those many pakcik warrant kat SMM.. stylo mylo kinda pakcik.. wearing oakley frames.. anyway, it was a pleasant surprise seeing him doing his zuhr prayers when i was there.. well, i have this very nasty misconception of ppl that most of them are only friday-prayers-muslim.. and i hope God forgive me for that! anyway, the officer indirectly taught me two things.. 1) a camelbak is a handy piece of equipment/apparel to have outfield.. cos it can also be used for ur wudhu.. never thought abt it sia.. 2) outfield can be fun and it all boils down to ur will.. he actually make coffee for himself after his subuh prayers.. how cool is that!

nothing much to write.. waiting for smallville to air.. and continuing my research on my perspective pet..

*bloated* drank a can of root beer and i am feeling bloated.. pretty un-eventful today.. watched my fave shows like 7th Heaven, My Fair Princess etc.. then went back to camp pretty early.. abt 2015hr i reached camp.. my friend asked why i came back so early.. replied, "aku boring kat rumah".. not the first time he asked and i answered that way.. he just smiled and didn't pursue the matter..

earlier on, asked a friend for a favour via sms.. told him to get me d camo netting for helmet because i threw away mine for some reason.. he replied via sms that he is in financial crisis and he has to ferry his parents for some stuffs.. 1) how much does a camo netting cost? less than $1 .. or at the most $2! and he said he has financial crisis.. not as if i am not paying him back! 2) he has a car and there is a shop selling army stuffs at his 'hometown'.. and he cant even make a quick drive, go to d shop, get the stuff and just go back home? too much of a hassle? tsk

asked another fren whether he has camo netting.. him being a rifleman in my battalion.. apparently my unit doesnt practise putting on a camo netting on d helmet.. he cant remember having it.. in fact he said he dun think he has it.. then, when he booked in and realised that he has it in his drawer, he asked me to take it from him.. so here i am after i took it from him at his coy line.. yeah the same guy he is who asked me why i booked in so early.. and who ate d ducks with me at lau pa sat.. me insisting that i will buy a new one for him, and he insisting there is no need to since his friend has an extra one.. a self-centred one and a selfless one.. humans! *sigh*

tomorrow, going for some outfield exercise.. involving 3 BCS and some other reservist unit.. just a 2 day outfield exercise.. not really looking forward to it.. but its a necessary evil..

yeah i am bitching.. incessantly that is.. bitching in my blog.. at FRIENDS via SMS who dun mind me bitching or just gimme that imaginary stare telling me to keep quiet!.. sue me for writing mostly boring NS stuffs.. bleargh.. *bloated*

saturday noon.. nothing to do it seems.. no nice movies to watch.. that will allow me to save $$ anyway.. waiting for my uncle to reply to my paging.. maybe will go to a kuliah tonite at Persatuan Muhammadiyah.. it has been ages since i last went there.. hehe.. there are some guys there who i dun really wanna meet.. because of brushes in irc over some issues u know.. *shrugs*

anyway, going back to bunk to change now.. have fun ppl.. and enjoy ur weekend!

PART 2

valentine's day was originally planned to be spent with 2 of my friends.. booked tickets for 3.. but one of them can't make it at the last minute due to some family function.. so left with me and my friend.. we watched Cold Mountain u know.. all the reviews gave it 4 stars.. but wtf! its an absolutely boring show.. never trust reviews!

after the show at marina, we walked to Lau Pa Sat because i wanted to try satay itik = duck.. so we walked and we talked.. mostly, he talked and i listened.. i don't really talk much in real life u know.. bitch, joked.. but never really talk much.. =) so he was relating abt his best friends of yesteryear and where their fave hangouts were.. and it comes to a pt where he asked abt the thing that was bothering me for the past weeks (prior to 14th feb).. no choice but to relate to him cos my itchy hands promised to tell him (in sms that is).. so i relate horribly what was bothering me and he got the gist.. like i've said, i am a bad talker and yeah, a bad narrator too ;)

we reached lau pa sat and ordered the satay.. then we just talked.. hehe yeah this entry is abt talking!.. we ate and we talked.. well, we ate, and he talked most of the time and i just listened and made intelligent remarks when the situation allows it.. hehe

he is a very good friend.. someone who can talk about sth and then just branch out into other things.. i think his brain is really the manifestation of mind maps.. u know those maps u shld do when u are preparing for exams?

anyway, during that 2 1/2 to 3hrs session at lau pa sat, he covered abt 5 main points.. and all those points are valid and very trivial points which i somehow haven't been paying attention to.. or didn't realise abt them.. here goes,

i) be independent
a man must be independent.. in no way can he cling to his friends.. what i mean is that, a man must know what is his priorities, interests and pursue those interests and priorities even if he ends up doing it by himself.. i often notice (myself included) that friends tend to go along with the dominant alpha friend.. eg, someone wants to go kayaking.. because that someone is the dominant member of the group, then everyone will follow him even if they never liked kayaking in the first place.. a more trivial eg will be, going for lunch.. if that person eats it somewhere, then everyone will flock together.. its like a hen with a herd of chicklings u know! these are 2 of the examples i can think of.. corny i must admit but u get my point ya? so, have a lot of friends.. make a lot of friends because a man must have many friends and contacts.. but only keep a selected few to be ur closest buddies.. maybe u will only have 1 buddy.. but who cares right? for me, i guess i have 2 currently.. ok make it 3.. :)

ii) be a man
i am a cautious guy.. my zodiac says that Leo like to do things dangerously.. but i like to take the safe route.. i dun take risk.. i am prepared to wait and bide my time.. sometimes, a relationship between a guy and girl starts by being friends then it develops and they become good friends where the guy will know when on earth is the girl's mentruation cycle and the girl will know the guy's brief's size and etc etc etc (not talking abt myself ok ;> ).. there is a chance one of them have already developed feelings for the other friend which goes beyond platonic relationship.. that person then will be plagued by a dilemma.. to confess or not to confess? if he confesses and the girl likes him, they will live happily ever after.. if the girl rejects him, then things will start to spiral down dun u think? well, my friend said, a guy can never have a girl as a best friend.. if u like her, tell her clearly but not loudly.. meaning, if u like her, just tell her once clearly that she is not doubting what u have told her and the ball is in her court.. there is no need to tell her repeatedly or daily and do stupid mushy stuffs like standing outside her house everyday with a stalk of rose! (and no, i wasn't talking abt myself!)

iii) Buat baik berpada-pada (Do good things sparingly)
A person is by nature a good soul.. right? he will do things for his friends or peers out of sheer goodwill.. most of the time he is sincere and expect no rewards.. but come on.. a human will certainly at least expect a certain basic amt of gratitude.. that can come in the way of u behaving better towards him.. or respect for him.. or love for him.. but imagine the pain when it is his time to experience the blue season of his life and he expect his friends whom he has invested time and effort on desert him.. unbearable i tell u.. u feel lost and all those shit feelings.. so, be nice sparingly.. go out of your way sparingly.. and even so, do it sincerely and without thoughts of being repaid.. do it for Allah..

iv) be thrifty, determine what's ur wants and needs
what is ur wants? a pair of levis while u have 3-4 pair of still-of-good-condition jeans in ur wardrobe.. a pair of timberland shoes while u have 2-3 pairs of nice shoes in ur cabinet.. etc etc etc.. got the idea? spend on what u really need.. and splurge occasionally on what u want but do not really need.. use ur money wisely cos u never know when those cash u stash away will come in handy..

v) spend time with family, immediate AND extended
most of us are close with our immediate families but not extended families.. how many of us go to our aunt house just to slack and watch tv? how many go to our grandparents house if they are still around just to eat and talk abt politics? (i do!).. how many went to watch School of Rock with our dear cousins rather than our friends? .. u got the point.. when it comes to the crunch, its ur family who will come to ur aid.. not ur friends.. not ur classmates.. not even ur army buddy.. :) family.

vi) seek His help
*sigh* its quite a jolt to be reminded of this again and again and again.. its ok if an ustaz or my granny or my granpa who remind me of this.. but to be reminded of it by ur friend is sth very very refreshing.. people tend to forget.. iman is like the tide.. sometimes its high.. sometimes its low.. *sigh* and our beloved Prophet said, ".. if u join the companionship of a smith, u will get the heat, if u join the companionship of a perfume trader, u will get the scent of his wares..." my beloved ustaz said, ".. friends are only for two reasons, 1) for him to advise u 2) for u to advise him.."

a tribute to the friend who advised me on that day.. i love u bro.. never has anyone (except Allah and His Rasul) in my entire life sets me thinking abt my life and touched my soul.. God Bless U..

and no he is not dead! he is hale and hearty (insya Allah).. waiting for his pizza to be delivered right now..

PART 1A

i've a sudden interest in cats.. well not really sudden.. have always adored cats and like them but the problem is my whole family don't really like animals.. except fishes that is..

went to popular at causeway point.. saw some books on cats and browsed through them.. so adorable!!!!

siamese, persian.. i like persian cats.. they are like walking bolsters.. but i don't think its easy to rear persian cats.. not when i am mostly in camp anyway.. hmm

does anyone know where i can BUY a cat?

no SPCA pls

oh, and that running mate of mine commented that i look like a POW.. a POW for goodness sake.. not my face.. my body that is.. i look like a POW!!!! grrr!

PART 1

ahh... listening to perfect10 in d MO's room and trying desperately to organise the points that i want to write about.. as usual, many stuffs but i will end up writing about a few of them in the end.. if i were to write about everything, it will be like a 600word essay.. but who cares..

the day started with a cover duty.. in the rover, a fren's mum (my fave bitch in the ctr) sms-ed me informing about the condition of her son.. quite weird to be sms-ing someone's mum but apparently that bitch can't move nor talk.. i guess its the fatigue or the anaesthasia.. maybe the anaesthetician gave him too much! glad that he's alright anyway.. and if u are reading this, the last msg i gave ur mum was meant to cheer up up.. not under any circumstances today did i ever miss u! so recuperate well and come back to work soon.. its not fun without u.. no, the wish i've just typed wasn't tantamount to missing u! so don't push ur luck..

today is also the day i listened to alot of stuffs abt kahwin(marriage).. reached the mosque at abt 12.45pm.. saw the imam masjid(the person who always lead the normal prayers) in a nice white jubah and i look at my fren and said sth like this, "alamak! dia pulak jadi imam!" hehe very very nasty of me i must admit.. and my fren said, "ko kat luar baik, dalam masjid jahat pulak!" well, u can't really blame me.. if u are to listen to his sermon and not sleep, u are such a devout and attentive muslim! there is a guideline/criteria in choosing an imam.. age is in no way the first and most important criteria! just because he is an aged wise man doesn't mean he is fit to lead the prayers ok.. so sue me if i was hoping that a more exuberant and attention-grabber imam is to lead today's prayer.. in any case, my friend's joking reprimand jolt me and i just 'resigned' to fate..

took my ablution, do the obligatory 2 rakaah prayers.. and read the quran.. somehow my fave surah for fridays is Surah Jumuah (62).. but i started reading Surah Sajdah and hopped to Jumuah, then to Taghabun then to Munafiqun.. then i stopped i think... azan and i just sit down because there is no such thing as solat sunnat dua rakaat jumaat k.. or whatever the term is... and again, the nasty me was quite happy that a younger imam took the mimbar(lectern).. hehe good voice.. and well i didn't sleep throughout except until d part he recite the du'a.. trust me to nod off at that time!!! the sermon was about marriage and why it's prescribed.. it's scope is more towards eradicating pre-marital sex and cohabitation and whatnot and of course i agree wholeheartedly with the sermon =)

was very eager when it's time to start the prayers.. i have a fetish for imams with good voice u know.. a good imam can move the congregation to tears! though most of the people have no inkling the meaning of what was being recited.. anyway.. he recited 2-3 verses from Jumuah and 2-3 verses from Taghabun... :~( so short u know.. he should have recited the whole surah.. and who cares whether the pakciks are late to get back to work or whatnot.. i want to listen!!!!!

after the prayers.. went to khatib camp.. bought gortex and a few other misc stuffs.. got credits so must use! nothing much after that except for a 4km run which makes me breathless.. bleargh.. its either the weather or the orange i ate before the run.. cardinal sin.. always made the same mistake.. that 4km run was actually a 25min jog and i still got breathless.. sheesh!

after the run, was slacking in the ctr and we watched tv3.. what's on it? its an iqra` programme.. cool u know! there we were, my friend and i, in running shorts and singlets, him eating dinner, me peeling a mandarin orange and reciting along with the ustaz teaching a few young kids reciting the quran.. hehe.. was even giving one kid words of encouragement pasal dia asik gagap aje nak baca satu ayat tu.. hehe power.. must make this a weekly ritual!

during my rest in bunk, i was station hopping on my receiver.. ended up listening to a batam station which is airing a syarahan(religious talk).. the topic is abt marriage/sex.. listened to it cos the other stations were airing syarahans which didnt interest me.. complained to her that i've been listening to too much marriage talk today.. hehe

channel i is showing Gladiator tonite and i intend to watch it! who cares abt william hung which will be shown on channel5! gimme an epic movie anytime over an idiot who shot to fame because of his blatant idiocy!

end of part 1.. time to organise my thoughts in relating what i learned during valentine's day.. i promised i will relate it remember?

*tired*
had a 6km route march with bcs bag.. followed by a supposed 2.4km training.. we had to do a 1.2km sprinting under 5mins.. i clocked 4.35mins which caused me to hyperventilate after that.. ;) in any case, i dun see how sprinting for 1.2km will help me clocking gold ippt timing.. now i am tired.. feel like eating sth but have no idea what to buy..

"....is this similar like what it is in guy-gal relationship? the most fun part is the courtship, after u get the girl, its no longer fun..."
someone asked me abt that statement with a raised eyebrow.. well not really raised cos its asked thru sms.. but i can imagined her raised eyebrow.. hehe just laughed it off.. nothing much to comment on anyway..

the malaysian parliament has been dissolved.. fun right? the battle is basically between PAS and UMNO.. my prediction earlier on was for PAS to win the state of Kedah.. but am not too sure right now.. i have no doubt abt them retaining kelantan and trengganu of cos..

one reason is because the PM right now is Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi.. a religious man by upbringing with good credentials and character.. he brought forth the theory Islam Hadhari.. haven really got the mood nor the time to read more abt it.. but from what i know, its abt practising Islam to the best ability of the individual, by upholding what is halal and what is haram and not denying in anyway what is halal and what is haram.. weird right? who would deny what is halal? well those feminist freaks who talked abt the hudud being antiquated, not suitable to be carried out today, abt polygamy being unfair and all those shit.. those people should be shot in d the brain.. what? i sound like taleban? sue me!..

one thing i find distasteful is that PAS attacked the PM by asking why he didn lead the prayers for his mum funeral but goes around leading prayers during terawih.. that's like a big NO-NO to question the intention of someone in his religious actions.. Tuan Guru Nik Aziz did say that election is war.. but does war in islam permits what they are doing? *ponders*

in any case, i am a PAS supporter.. until the PM shows me that he can really uphold Islam.. are u going to ask me what does my opinion matters? will tell u next time :)

there are just so many meaty issues i want to write abt.. just don't have the mood.. but i do intend to write abt what i learned during valentine's day.. nothing romantic or anything.. rather, its simple and down-to-earth issues which ppl just tend to overlook..

hmm, what should i have for supper?

him : " Dun be such a woose! Go n confront your ultimate fear! Tell yourself you are not afraid of bitching back. You desire to bitch."

friends said i am self-centred..

how beautiful?

go here

woohoo.. that's d first pic i am gonna put..
garang right?
well CO said must be guai lan, sia lan and lao lan.. so no smiles yar~

watched Selamat Pagi Singapura in d morning.. got a segment abt keris(the traditional malay sword that malay warriors use.. more like a dagger).. they were documenting abt how a keris can be used in d absence of the groom.. let's say that d guy is absent because of war or sth, and the wedding date has been set, then d keris can be used as his representation.. interesting right?.. they also showed d practical reasons behind the smoking of the blade, the 'bathing' of the blade etc... so i decided to get myself a keris.. was crazy abt getting d samurai swords after watching The Last Samurai... now i want to get a keris first!

earlier on, a friend sent a sms asking whether i can lend him $300.. didn't respond back.. not yet at least.. have to ask him why he need it.. in any case, not in d financial capacity to lend ppl any money.. i wonder how ppl can just easily ask to borrow money from others.. u gotta learn how to live within ur means u know.. have to separate what is ur wants and what is ur needs.. then again, he might really need it.. hmm

Quote of the day,
"What is love which torments the soul?"
-a dialogue from a buddhist monk in a chinese period drama

at last got my khaki beret and guards tab officially.. the parade started at abt 9am just now.. quite a brief parade, thank God for that.. after that, its followed by photo taking!! am just waiting for the pictures to be email-ed to me..

am on duty today.. a good way to spend saturday since i wont be spending that much $$.. kinda resolved to either rot at home for the coming weekends or go to my granny's house..

having a breakfast date with dear siao wei tomorrow.. quite tough to meet her.. either she is on flight.. or i am on duty or our plans clashed... so at last i can meet her tomorrow.. woohooooo~

QUOTE

Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.
- Sarah Bernhardt

have yet to fully comprehend what it means.. anyone?

listening to kevin lyttle's 'turn me on' from this blog...

We the guardsman warriors
Resolute in loyalty
Steadfast in commitment
We fight for our country, our home and our family
Land warriors from air and sea
Unfailing in toughness
Valiant in our actions
We destroy all foes
Who challenge our mission
We are elite warriors
With daring initiative
We rule the day
We rule the night
Always ready
Ready to Strike!

that's the guards creed which we have to memorise.. soon it will be guards hymn.. tsks... realised that d ctr has its own politics coloured and marred by the diversity of human nature.. can't be bothered...

bleargh~~ procrastination at its max! still figuring out this blogging stuffs.. got shoutbox at first.. then flooble then finally tagboard... was meddling with tagboard codes but it still doesnt look perfect! (absolutely refusing to send an email to dear fir!)

gotta write friendster testimonials for some friends.. been promising them for ages but i still cant seem to get the first sentence typed.. supposed to run.. but my running shorts is wet since i put it at the balcony and it rained just now *bleargh*

ordered my pair of asics shoes just now.. cost $100.. its like $60-$70 cheaper than the price outside.. seriously i wonder, how am i going to save up enough if i start to spend money which is not even in my bank account yet! i am determined to get a viewcam though.. am also determined to just watch a movie this month.. Haunted Mansion! .. all in the spirit of being frugal of course..

a friend just sms-ed.. he was sad that his platoon was disqualified because his pc apparently made a minor mistake in directions throughout the GAC (guards assault course).. i really respect the soldiers in my unit.. they take pride in what they are doing.. they enjoy what they are doing.. they give their 101% in their tasks.. what else can i say to him?
me: i know. i saw u guys kape. relek ah. d satisfaction is in knowing that u have done ur best. winning is secondary.
even i don't really believe in that.. but hey it sounds good enough rite?

i was thinking,
i) have i been writing too much?
ii) should i write in proper english?

went to meet a friend just now.. was intrigued when he told me last week that he is involved in some money-making venture.. the psychic me suspected that its a MLM scheme.. the 'good' me decided to give him the benefit of the doubt...

true enough, it IS a MLM scheme.. of course, they change it to a more fancy phrasing, 'personal franchising' and gives the usual talk abt how McD and Starbucks earn so much money by franchising and all those crap.. abt how a good business model and franchising can earn u alot of money.. *bleargh* am just not interested.. will stick to my opening a meat shop dream...

after that meeting, went to look at viewcams at the sony shop in Parco.. expensive man.. if i really decide to get it, i will have to be a rabbit and just eat alfalfa sprouts for the whole of this year.. maybe i cant even afford the alfalfa sprouts! of course, when there's a will, there's a way..

went to Absolute Comics after that.. decided to 'resume' my comics buying again.. got the latest Fantastic Four issue before meeting the bitches..

it's always nice to be bickering with that bitch.. i just cant believe his audacity in even dictating what i should write in my blog! the nerve of him to tell me that i should write sth longer and 'meaty' so that it will be an interesting read for him!!! i jolly well cant write an essay in every entry can i?? bleargh!

my fave bitch in sungai gedong as usual never fails to amaze me with his grand schemes and wit! he will be shifting house in 2 weeks.. after that, i can hang out with him and be rabbits for like every week! its just 80cents away.. how cool is that! E Diva in the chatterbox is of course him *hugs*.. so to the bitches out there, answer his call!!

still nothing on the fairer sex department

then again, who needs them when i have grand schemes to carry out!!!

i have a grand scheme!!!!
that is to go backpacking after i ORD next yr... interesting right??? well, i never thought about it a few days back until my buddy, ben sms me and 'jio' me to go canada with him.. and i being the eternally nice buddy just agree! after a few moments (like after a few hours) it dawned upon me whats so interesting abt canada?

me : eh, which part of canada are we going? why go canada ah? its like so boring!
him : At first i am going germany with my fren cos he has relatives there... but i am going canada with u cos i have relatives in canada!
him: the gateway to niagara falls and rocky mountains.
me : Oh ok! but Germany sounds like more fun!

so, since yesterday, i have been scouring for information on canada and all the related info... the in-house airline expert in the ctr has been quite helpful in 'briefing' me abt the various airlines.. which airline goes to vancouver.. which doesnt.. why a round trip by SIA can cost nearly $7k for some flights but only cost $3.7k for others...

quite fun i must admit doing all this research and finding out and learning abt stuffs which i normally wouldn't know abt..

then it dawns upon me, is this similar like what it is in guy-gal relationship? the most fun part is the courtship, after u get the girl, its no longer fun...

crazy i tell u...

languages
slacking around in d ctr right now.. there is a colleague of mine who is just so keen in learning languages.. he knows a bit of korean, japanese and is going to learn arabic in a community centre.. tsk... taught me how to write my name in mandarin.. and i in turn taught him my name in arabic script.. but grrrrrrrr.. i dunno how to teach him more beyond that... embarrassing to acknowledge that my arabic knowledge is close to zilch!



Our Lord! Lay not upon us such a burden as You did lay upon those before us. (2:286)

Weeeeeee! My blogspot account is finally up and running! Well, it has been up and running since last year but finally there is colour and stuffs u know. At last it looks like how a blogspot should look.

Thankies fir for doing it for me *hugs*

Am just pissed at how self-centred a person can be. A colleague came to ask a favour.. Both of us were slacking.. me using the pc, A watching tv... then he stood up and go out i dunno where.. tot he went to carry out d deed.. 2-3 mins later, another colleague asked for another deed to be done.. so i went off.. to my disgust, A wasnt ard to do the earlier deed!

Goodness gracious!

earlier on, he demanded for $1 dollar which i owed him... come on! aren't we supposed to be friends? we are with each other for like almost everyday 8hrs a day and he still nak mengira! (keep track of every penny) i will now make sure i owe no supposed friends of mine any money!

YUCKs~

so much to pen down... maybe laters...

thanks again fir darling!!