today seems/feels tiring.
started the day rather early. only God knows how difficult it was for me to wake up. a few fitful jerks from my sleep. but all in all i think its enough, barely to recharge my batteries.
the lethargy, tiredness from the workshop was still keenly felt. like i said, i felt empty. all the way till i met my manager for breakfast.
he drove me to redhill. no muslim food. we went to tiong bahru. one pathetic stall. but ok la. will do.
after breakfast, back to office. went through the first pfp i did. as usual, it seemed SO EASY when he was the one who did it. but i now understands better some of the components and i am sure i will get better. confidence.
after that, we went thru some products. he gave me a task. to present a product to him. needless to say, i bungled it. lack of preparation. lack of belief. in myself and in the product. he was patient. and thats all i need.
then it was his turn. step by step, methodically. i tried to concentrate. and take down the general concepts. he is good. very good! and again, for the second day running, i realised how lacking i am. but i should get better. i think i have a flair in grasping concepts. i know i can.
tirin day. stayed until 3pm. usually i am off by lunch. but loads of knowledge gained. and i love such sessions. u emerged out of it very aware of ur shortcomings yet u are equipped with new tools to apply and correct ur mistakes. but again, i felt empty.
felt that way till evening. no one on msn. no one substantial. until kak long came online. :)
we bantered nonsensically as usual, before we became serious. i actually convinced her that i am not a metrosexual. how can i be? i am the epitome of a slacker!
i complained to her abt my feeling of emptiness. and she dished out some pearls of wisdom. not really much advice. just some things which i needed to hear from an adult. i still felt it, that emptiness. but my mood is better.
maybe its just because i know he is back.
i've grown quite close to kak long. we dun really have any taboo topic. i am also becoming to grow quite distant with those friends who i thought are all i needed in this world. heh. how can they be the people u need when its time u needed them, they are not there? friends who shared weal with u are in abundance. friends who shared weal and woe with u are very far and in between and scarce indeed.
like i told her, i no longer feel upset nor spiteful with them. used to feel very angry. very hurt when they rather go out with other people than me. haha. very immature come to think of it. now, i just brush it off. no point being upset ya.
friends who i treat as if they are the pearls in my life. bagai menatang minyak yang penuh. who i cuddle, i coax, i go out of my way to please. they pay no hoot to what u feel nor treat u the same way as how u treat them, emotionally and physically. used to be so upset. very upset when i see they have slighted me. now, i just cant be bothered. heh. of course the sick feeling is there. when u have invested so much, dun u feel bad when ur investment doesnt reap its returns? slowly dispelling all those feelings. tak boleh bertepuk sebelah tangan. no good.
i am just rambling now. i dunno whats my next train of thought. thanks to these msn messages! heh.
but here is the result of another personality test i did.
---------------------------------------------------------Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious. You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need. You are responsible and enjoy being needed. You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming. You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.
You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve. You have a strong work ethic.
You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...
You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for your family. You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.
You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs...you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...worry a lot...
You need to have things organized in a way you think works.. you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray, you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done...
You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall. You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one. you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers.....you learn best by DOING...
You tend not to be the center of attention...often appear serious...others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside...
Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present, you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...you can be taken advantage of....could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.
ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"
